If Your Child Stutters: Advice for Parents”

Child Stutters

To parents who stutter their children

This book is written for parents who care about their children’s words. If your child speaks fluently under normal circumstances, but sometimes repeats words, sounds, or syllables, you may be worried about whether he (or she) has started to stutter. The purpose of writing this book is to help you distinguish between normal turbulence and stuttering, and to deepen your understanding of stuttering, so that you can work with your child to solve his (or her) problems.

1) You have to learn the knowledge of stuttering yourself. The more you know about stuttering, the less fear of it.     

2) Act immediately. We now recognize that early intervention for preschool children is the key to preventing small problems from becoming bigger. The changes you make will have a major impact on your child.     

3) Seek the help of high-level therapists. If your child’s problem has not been resolved, you need to learn how to choose a high-level therapist.     

This book brings together the thoughts of many stuttering experts who attach great importance to the early intervention of stuttering in children. The names of experts who contributed to this book are on the next page.

Speech barriers can cause frustration and low morale, especially when it is ignored or misunderstood. Therefore, a deeper understanding of stuttering is of great significance to your child’s healthy growth and happiness.

Jane Fraser

Chairman of the American Stuttering Foundation

contents

Is my child stuttering in the first quarter ?

1. Is this stuttering?

2. How to tell if your child has started stuttering

3. Signs of danger

1. Repeat multiple times

2. Vowels of unstressed syllables

3. Prolong the tone

4. Trembling

5. Increase in pitch and volume

6. Struggle and nervousness

7. Fear

8. Escape

4. Other risk factors

1. Family history

2. Starting age

3. Duration

4. Gender

5. Other speech and language issues

The second section of the cause of stuttering

1. The role of inheritance

2. Muscle coordination

3. Environment – emotional stress

Fourth, imitate

Section 3 Other knowledge about stuttering

1. How many people eat?

2. How do children who stutter compare with children who do not stutter?

3. Rehabilitation from stuttering

Fourth, stuttering is like a pendulum

Five, some good suggestions are harmful

Section 4 Six Ways to Help Children

1. Little knowledge about the development of speech ability

2. Suggestion 1: Listen carefully

1. Understand how you listen to your child and react to it

2. Start to change the way you listen to and respond to your child

3. Try to understand the emotions of the child when speaking

4. Judge situations that require immediate and attentive listening

3. Suggestion 2: Be friends with your child and don’t give orders to him (or her)

1. Talk about things that are important to your child

2. Be a good role model for your child in terms of language habits

3. Make the conversation fun

4. Read or tell a story to him

5. Help her express emotions in words

6. Don’t order children to speak

Fourth, suggestion three: pay attention to body language

1. Look for ways to express feelings other than language     

2. Analyze how your child uses his own voice     

3. Stay with your kids more     

5. Recommendation 4: Make daily life easier

1. Reduce the stress of eating     

2. Make the bedtime activity pattern     

3. Improve toilet training     

4. Reduce stress     

5. Focus on overall development     

6. Consider other influencing factors     

7. Don’t interrupt your child frequently     

Sixth, suggestion five: manage children’s behavior

1. Appropriate expectations of children’s behavior     

2. Deny certain behaviors of the child, but don’t deny the child himself     

3. Maintain the consistency of principles     

4. Control excitement     

5. Supervise his siblings     

Seventh, suggestion six: use common sense

Section 5 When stuttering becomes worse

1. Reduce time pressure

2. Time pressure in communication

3. Time pressure on lifestyle

Four, acceptance is not smooth

Five, learn language differences

Sixth, increase your tolerance for choppy

7. The best way to improve your relationship with your child is to wait patiently

1. Show your child that you can accept his lack of fluency     

2. Describe the behavior in detail, not label it     

3. Reduce your anxiety     

4. Respond appropriately to stuttering     

5. Talk about stuttering publicly     

6. Sometimes direct advice     

7. Reduce the fear and annoyance of speech     

8. Encourage self-reliance     

9. Gradually eliminate fear     

10. Teach your children how to face setbacks  

Concluding remarks

Is my child stuttering in the first quarter ? 

The speech began from the first cry of the baby after the birth. In the next two years, children learn to make meaningful sounds and words, and their speech skills develop rapidly. Children between the ages of two and six may have obvious difficulties in speaking fluently and freely, especially when they start to make sentences. All children repeat words and phrases, often hesitate, and often have difficulty speaking, but some children have more problems and last longer.

If your child has this type of problem, you may wonder if he (or she) has started to stutter. Will his (or her) stuttering become more serious? Or will it disappear automatically? If you think your child has started to stutter, should you do something? If so, what should you do?

Our goal is to answer some of the above questions.

1. Is this stuttering?

Stuttering interrupts the fluidity of speech, but many other things also interrupt the fluidity of speech. All of us repeat words or syllables occasionally, and none of us speaks absolutely fluently. We all hesitate, insert noise or words, mix syllables, repeat and modify sentences, or try to say two words at the same time. When these things happen, we get confused or short-lived.

Children who are learning to speak naturally have speech problems more often than adults and older children. The fluency of each person’s speech will change with the change of the person’s internal feelings and external conditions. This change in fluency is extremely obvious in children.

Since there are many similarities between a child’s normal speech flow and stuttering, it may be difficult for you to distinguish between the two. In addition, the intensity and frequency of a child’s normal speech disorder will change with time, occasions and changes in the child’s feelings.

Therefore, if you are worried about your child’s speech habits, you’d better let a speech – language pathologist determine if your child is stuttering. Regardless of whether your child is stuttering or not, the advice in this book will help you.

2. How to tell if your child is starting to stutter

There are some signs that a child is in the initial stages of stuttering. Recognizing these signs will help you decide whether to see a speech – language pathologist.

After reading this book, you may decide to take your child to see a speech – language pathologist. [1] When evaluating children’s speech, some children may not show behaviors that worry their parents. However, if you decide to see a therapist, then your knowledge of early signs of stuttering and your daily contact with your child will make you the best source of information. You can describe the process of your child’s speaking, as well as the frequency and coherence of the turbulence. This information is very important to help the speech pathologist determine if your child is stuttering. Remember, you are the one who knows your child best.

3. Signs of danger

Stuttering is not just the interruption of smooth speech, the latter we call ‘unfluent’. Stuttering is still a reaction to difficulty speaking. When you try to determine whether your child is stuttering, you can watch for some key danger signs. When you are considering these danger signs, you should not pay too much attention to them. You should relate these signs to the overall situation of your child’s speech. Most of your child’s speech is likely to be quite fluent.

At the same time, remember that a considerable part of these behaviors are only temporary. Children who have never been treated as stutterers sometimes have these behaviors.

1. Repeat multiple times

Everyone, especially children who are learning to speak, repeat words and phrases. It is not uncommon for a 3 -year-old child to repeat the same word several times. Is-is-is it time to go yet? ( Go now?) A child who is not a stutterer repeats and-and-and-and-and ( and ) so many times that he forgets himself what you want to say. Fortunately, he laughed at it, and so did his parents.

Sometimes, the beginning of a word or speech, such as a prolonged or repeated er or um is used. Um,um,um,can I have one of the cookies? ( Um, um, um, can I have a cookie? ) Sometimes, the part of a word, usually the first syllable, is repeated. Can I have my ba-ba-ba-baby ? ( Can you give me the baby ?)

If your child starts to use repetition frequently in many words and on many occasions, he (or she) may have more speech difficulties than normal. Using these repetitions may be a transitional phase, but it is also one of the first signs that a clinician should look for when judging whether your child is stuttering.

2. Vowels of unstressed syllables

The vowels (or weak vowels) of unstressed syllables are often used in daily life. Such as a round, c o ncerned, s u ggest, want e d and th e boy , the underlined unstressed syllable uh .

Children who are beginning to stutter often pronounce the vowels of unstressed syllables in a distorted manner. If he says go-go-go-goat , we don’t have to worry. But if he says guh-guh-guh-goat , we should be vigilant, because this is a sign of danger. If he repeats the vowels of unstressed syllables very quickly, we should be more vigilant. On words that start with a vowel, such as over , he may pronounce uh-uh-uh-over instead of repeating the first sound o . It may be difficult for you to distinguish between the two, but therapists are trained in this area.

3. Prolong the tone

Sometimes, instead of repeating the first note, your child prolongs the first note, such as “ Mommy” as “ Mmmmmmmmmmmommy” .

The above three signs-repeated sounds, repeated vowels of unstressed syllables, and prolonged sounds-appear in almost every child. If they start to appear frequently on too many occasions and start to affect your child’s ability to communicate, you should pay attention.

4. Spasms

Sometimes, you will observe that when your child’s speech is blocked, the small muscles around her mouth and jaw will tremble or vibrate. The degree of cramps varies from mild to severe. The spasm is related to the difficulty in the process of verbal expression. During the spasm, the child’s mouth is fixed in a certain position and no sound comes out. The therapist will ask you if you see this kind of cramps often, and whether the cramps are longer or shorter now than in the past.

5. Increase in pitch and volume

When your child tries to say a word, the pitch and volume of his speech may increase. It may be a gradual increase or a sudden increase. However, in either case, he is trying to say the blocked word, which is also a sign that he needs help.

6. Struggle and nervousness

Sometimes, when your child says certain words, he may struggle to squeeze out the words or have excessive tension on his lips, tongue, throat, or chest. But at other times, his tension on the same word is appropriate. The degree of struggle may change from almost imperceptible to very obvious, change due to changes in the speaking situation, or it may disappear completely for a long time. In any case, struggle and tension means that your child has greater difficulty speaking.

7. Fear

You may find that when your child wants to say a certain word, his face will show a trace of fear or boredom. If this is the case, he has probably experienced too much blockage on this word in the past, so that he emotionally reacted to the expected trouble. He may not only be temporarily afraid, but because he couldn’t say a word and started crying. If you can help him when his fear is only a brief overexperience, then you are very likely to prevent this fear from developing into a long-term fear of speaking.

8. Escape

Struggling to speak and being afraid to speak may cause your child to avoid speaking. She may postpone trying to say a word until she is sure she can say it fluently. Sometimes she may refuse to speak, or substitute other words for words that she is difficult to utter, or insert some unnecessary words. When she chooses words or organizes sentences, she will continue to have normal pauses, but the pauses may be longer. If she clearly knows what she wants to say but does not say, then she is probably avoiding speaking because she is getting tired of speaking.

You may find the above five behaviors in your child-cramping, raising the pitch and volume, struggling and nervousness, fear, and avoiding. These behaviors appear when he or she starts to respond to the interruption of speech, and they often mean that your child is trying to do something to deal with the interruption of speech. Likewise, when you observe these behaviors, you should pay attention.

4. Other risk factors

In addition to the above dangerous signs, other factors put children at risk of stuttering. Understanding these factors will help you decide whether to take your child to see a speech – language pathologist.

1. Family history

Currently, there is evidence that almost half of children who stutter have a stutterer in their family. If the stutterer in the family is still stuttering, then your child is at greater risk of stuttering instead of normal speech flow. On the contrary, if the stutterer in the family does not stutter when they grow up, then the risk of the child’s stuttering is less.

2. Starting age

A child who starts stuttering before the age of three and a half is more likely to get rid of stuttering; if your child starts stuttering before the age of three, then she is more likely to get rid of stuttering within six months.

3. Duration

75% to 80% of children who stutter can stop stuttering within 12 to 24 months without speech correction . If your child’s stuttering lasts for more than 6 months, then the chance of him getting rid of the stuttering on his own will be lower. If his stuttering lasts for more than 12 months, then the chance of him getting rid of the stuttering on his own is even smaller.

4. Gender

Girls are more likely to get rid of stuttering than boys. In fact, the ratio of boys who stutter to girls who stutter is probably between 3 : 1 and 4 : 1 .

Why is there such a difference? First, in early childhood, boys and girls have differences in innate speech and language abilities. Second, in early childhood, the attitudes of parents, family members, and others towards boys are different from the attitudes towards girls. Therefore, boys tend to stutter more than girls, probably because of their basic differences in speech and language skills and the way they interact with others.

5. Other speech and language issues

New evidence shows that children with delayed speech and language skills are more likely to suffer from stuttering than the average child. In other words, children who speak clearly and rarely make mistakes are more likely to get rid of stuttering than children who often make mistakes and illegible expressions. If your child often makes speech errors, such as using substitute words, making fewer sounds, or having difficulty understanding instructions, then you should pay more attention.

Risk Factor Chart

Click after the option that suits your child’s situation

Risk factorsMore likely to start stutteringFits my child’s situation
Family history of stutteringThe father or mother or siblings or other family members still stutter 
Age at the beginning of stutteringAfter 3 and a half years old 
Stuttering age6-12 months or longer 
gendermale 
Other speech – language delayWrong voice, difficult to understand speech, or difficulty in understanding instructions 

These risk factors put children at greater risk for the development of stuttering. If your child has one or more of these risk factors, and has several or all of the above-mentioned danger signs, you should pay more attention. You may want to make an appointment with a speech therapist who specializes in stuttering to perform a speech test on your child. The speech expert will determine if your child is stuttering, and then decide whether to treat it immediately or wait for a while.

Sometimes, a speech – language pathologist will advise you to listen with some purpose. Try to listen objectively. This may be difficult, but it can be learned. If you plan to observe your child’s speech more carefully over a period of time, you need to pay attention to the following things:

   Like other developments, the development of speech skills is not stable. Sometimes you will find that there are more problems, and other times not. Some children stutter more when they are tired, sick, or doing things they don’t do very often.

Pay    more attention to when your child speaks fluently. This will help alleviate your worries about your child’s occasional speech difficulties. Many children speak more fluently than when they are not, but it is easy for you to pay too much attention to your child’s behavior that worries you.

   Don’t watch your child every time he speaks. Focus on what she says instead of how she speaks. It is very important for your child to know that you are interested in her words and that you understand her.

   Try to determine the size of the difficulty the child has encountered, and whether his speech overall has improved or worsened.

   Some parents find it helpful to score on the calendar every day. For example, a mother uses 1 to 7 to represent the child’s speech performance in a day, 1 represents a day with very smooth speech, and 7 represents a day with a lot of stuttering. Every day, she will score the child’s speech fluency and record it on the calendar. After some time, she found that her score had risen, so she didn’t worry too much about her son. This scoring is also helpful to speech – language pathologists.

Five, speech assessment

The purpose of speech assessment is to determine whether your child needs treatment for stuttering. The speech – language pathologist will use information from different places to determine whether your child is at risk of stuttering and what is the best way to deal with it.

First, the speech therapist will most likely ask you to fill out a case form. This form may include: milestones in the development of stuttering, history of disease, speech development process, family history of stuttering (if any), information about past treatments (if any), and how you treat yourself The impression of the child and his or her words, the style and specific time of interaction between family members, other concerns you have about your child’s development, and so on.

After completing the form, the therapist will generally interview the parents to ask about the child’s speech development, the parents’ concerns, and the family’s daily activities. The therapist may also ask the child’s reaction in different situations and his basic temperament. Interviews are also when you ask experts questions.

During the actual evaluation process, the child’s conversation with you, the therapist, or others may be videotaped. If possible, the therapist may ask you to take a recording or video recording of your child’s speech at home. Experts will carefully observe your child’s speaking process through audio or video tapes. They will also analyze other aspects of your child’s speech, such as grammar, vocabulary, and voice.

In short, the specialist will collect as much information as possible about your child before making recommendations on whether treatment is needed.

After the speech assessment, the expert will make an appointment with you for the next meeting. At the next meeting, he (or she) will tell you the results of the evaluation and make recommendations on whether treatment is needed.

Finally, the expert will provide a written report on the evaluation results and recommendations. This report may be useful to both your pediatrician and the insurance company if you want to make a claim against the insurance company.

In the speech-language pathology field, there are different opinions about when or whether to receive stuttering correction. As a parent, you know your children best. If you have received advice from a speech – language pathologist or pediatrician to wait for a while, but still feel uneasy, you should stick to your own ideas and follow your instincts.

You can continue to pay attention to your child’s words and look for different opinions. If your pediatrician is searching for relevant information, you can suggest him to look for “Stuttering Children: For Pediatricians” on the website of the Stuttering Federation. This book has been posted on the Internet and is available for free inquiries. It will help your doctor make the correct treatment arrangements.

At the same time, the suggestions in this book will make it possible for you to start helping your child today.

The second section of the cause of stuttering

What is the cause of stuttering? This is a headache because although we know a lot about stuttering, we still cannot provide a clear answer. The cause of stuttering in children seems to vary from person to person, and sometimes, even if the cause of stuttering no longer works, the child continues to stutter.

1. The role of inheritance

As mentioned in the first section, stuttering seems to exist in some families. Does this mean that stuttering is genetic? Scientists have found that about half of children who stutter seem to have genetic causes. However, the role of genetics is quite complex, and the genetics of stuttering are not as predictable as the genetics of eye and hair color.

2. Muscle coordination

There is evidence that some children, especially young children, have basic obstacles in the order of good coordination and movement (vocal organs) required for fluent speech.

Children who are learning to walk will trip or fall if their large muscles are not coordinated. In the same way, the incoordination of the vocal muscles will bring about verbal influency. Although some children stop stuttering after they learn to control the vocal muscles, others do not. Therefore, we believe that there must be other factors at work in the continued development of stuttering.

3. Environment – emotional stress

Certain emotional stress—whether it is a single disturbing event or constant stress—can interfere with most of our language. This is especially true for children, because they are still in the stage of learning to control their emotions, and many things will scare them. Some children are particularly sensitive to changes in their mood or environment, and they are more likely to feel upset. Some children may start to be afraid of certain speaking situations because, in their view, these situations are similar to those that make it difficult for them to speak. However, not all children with this experience start to stutter.

Some children even react negatively to normal speech problems. The negative reactions of themselves or those around them make them feel that speech is not smooth is a bad thing and should be avoided. However, the more they avoid the lack of fluency, the less fluency their speech becomes. The less fluency they speak, the more negative reactions they have, thus forming a vicious circle. This vicious circle causes them to increase their stress, worry and tension when they start to speak.

You might suspect that the child stuttered because of a severe startle. Although being frightened may make the child’s first few sentences less fluent, usually its effect is short-lived.

Fourth, imitate

Is stuttering learned? no. According to our current understanding of speech and related phenomena, using imitation to explain stuttering simplifies an extremely complex problem.

Now you know why we can’t say with certainty that this is why your child stutters! However, we do know many reasons why stuttering has become a serious problem. Some are related to your child, and some are related to your attitude and behavior. Your child’s stuttering is not your fault, but there are steps you can take to prevent stuttering from developing into a serious problem.

Section 3 Other knowledge about stuttering

1. How many people eat?

Stutterers account for about 1% of the population , but more children have experienced short-term stuttering. Although 1% may not seem like a lot, it means that in the United States, about 3 million people eat.

2. How do children who stutter compare with children who do not stutter?

Except for speech and stuttering, most children who stutter are very normal children. There is not much difference between the intelligence of children who stutter and the intelligence of children who do not stutter.

Researchers have tried to find the physical and psychological differences between stutterers and non-stutterers, only to find very few and imperceptible differences. Moreover, these differences have not been recognized by all researchers, nor have they been verified in all stutterers.

At least, children who stutter and their non-stuttering partners seem to have the same adaptability. You may have noticed that your child is particularly sensitive, easily feels upset or annoyed, or is more active than other children, but these things are not necessarily related to his way of speaking.

3. Rehabilitation from stuttering

Many young children stop stuttering without treatment or special attention. It is estimated that only one out of four to five people who have experienced stuttering later become a stutterer. In the first section, we use a chart to help you determine whether your child is at risk of stuttering. Here, we enumerate some knowledge about children’s stuttering recovery:

      There are children living in difficult stuttering stuttering Shijia Ting in rehabilitation.

It can       take up to three years for some children to stutter from the beginning to the disappearance of the stuttering. However, most children can get rid of stuttering within a year.

      Children who stutter only after three and a half years of age have a lower recovery rate.

      The recovery rate of boys is lower than that of girls.

      Children with other speech – language disorders or low learning ability have a lower recovery rate from stuttering.

Other factors can also affect the speed of recovery from stuttering. Stress and anxiety almost always aggravate a child’s stuttering.

Therefore, many of the suggestions for helping your child are to reduce his (or her) stress and anxiety as much as possible. The difficulty lies in finding the source of the child’s anxiety or stress. Many children will speak more fluently once their stress or anxiety is reduced. However, if your child stutters for more than three to six months, he (or she) may need professional help.

Fourth, stuttering is like a pendulum

We know that the frequency and severity of stuttering often change with time and the environment. Sometimes your child can talk easily, such as when he talks to himself, talks to pets, or sings. The stuttering may disappear completely for a long period of time, but then there will be serious relapses. This situation may occur when stress and anxiety levels increase, but this is not always the case. If your child’s stuttering recurs many times over a long period of time, you should pay more attention.

Five, some good suggestions are harmful

We also know that many old-fashioned traditional methods do not help correct stuttering. In fact, they may make the problem worse. Saying “speak slowly”, “take a deep breath” or “relax” to your child is useless advice. Asking the child to say it again may make the child speak this sentence more fluently, but it does not eliminate stuttering.

It is even more harmful to order the child to stop stuttering and punish the child with a serious expression. These practices are based on one or several false assumptions about the nature of stuttering: that is, stuttering is just a bad habit, and if your child really tries it, he can not stutter. The child does not stutter intentionally to be naughty or to annoy someone.

      Don’t tell your children “Speak slowly”, but you should learn to slow down your own speaking rate.

      Don’t help your child finish what he has not said, let him finish it by himself.

      Don’t say “relax” or “repeat it again” to your child. This kind of simplistic advice is useless. If you don’t use it well, it will aggravate your child’s stuttering.

In the next section we will explain in detail how to help your child.

Section 4 Six Ways to Help Children

The communication between you and your child is very unique. In this section, we will tell you some useful suggestions that will slightly change the way you communicate with your children. Some suggestions are very clear, others are more general, and you need to decide what you do. Remember: the way you do things is as important as the content of your things. Unless it is based on your beliefs, a simple list of what to do and what not to do is invalid. At the same time, you should also remember: Sometimes, doing nothing may be the most important thing you can do.

Our advice is directly related to your child’s ability to speak fluently and communicate freely with others. If you care about your child’s speech, the following suggestions are especially important, but these suggestions can also help develop your child’s social skills.

All topics involve directly changing your own behaviors and attitudes. Of course, this does not mean that you should be responsible for your child’s stuttering. We now know that children stuttering is not caused by parents. However, once a child starts to stutter, parents can do many things to prevent stuttering from becoming a life-long problem for the child. You can control and change the most important part of your child’s growth environment-yourself. For many young children, certain changes made by you and other family members are the most effective way to promote smooth speech.

1. Little knowledge about the development of speech ability

Let us briefly review how much the child’s speech ability has progressed between the ages of two and six. Two to six years old is the period of rapid growth and development of children.

At the age of two, your child can use words and short sentences consistently. At the age of six, he will use longer sentences and more words. At the same time, he will also begin to learn how to use his own voice and words to control the behavior of others and express his feelings. He will use a lot of words in social interactions.

Many new doors opened to him, and the speaking language played a central role in it. Your child needs to be understood and needs to be able to say what he wants to say when he wants to speak.

2. Suggestion 1: Listen carefully

Changing the way you listen to your child is one of the most important things you can do to help your child. You may be surprised at this point. Of course you listen to your child. When he talks or keeps asking questions, it is difficult for you not to listen. You may have listened selectively to your child, not caring about every word the child said.

We will help you how to listen to your child selectively and not leave the impression that you never listen to him or don’t want to listen to him. In addition, you can learn to pay more attention to the things that are important to your child and his development.

Paying attention not only to listening itself, but also to your personal listening habits will enable you to communicate better with your children. Here are four key steps to improve listening. Follow the steps for a few days in a row.

Step 1. Understand how you listen to your child and react to it

In the first two or three days, always focus on assessing how, how much, and how often you listen to your child. Pay attention to your different ways of listening: from just listening to a small part of listening to every word he says.

      What topics do you care about?

      Do you wait until he finishes talking?

      Did you urge him when he spoke?

      How much of his rap did you actually hear?

      Does he talk a lot? What did he tell you?

      How did you react when he interrupted you?

      Do you often look at him when you listen to him?

Take some notes on the way you listen. Paying attention to listening will lay the foundation for the following three steps.

Step 2: Start to change the way you listen to and respond to your child

In the next day or two, try to change how much you listen to. You cannot listen carefully every time the child speaks, and it is not necessary, especially when the child is raping. But you can judge when you should listen carefully and when you don’t need to listen carefully. On occasions where you did not listen carefully in the past, you can change how much you listen to.

If necessary, change your reaction when he interrupts you. Don’t pretend you didn’t hear it, and don’t feel upset. Tell him that you heard him speak, but it’s not the time for him to speak, or tell him you are busy and listen to him later. The important thing is to know that you can change your habit of listening to your children.

Step 3: Try to understand the emotions of the child when speaking

In the next few days, pay attention to the way the child speaks. How does he use his voice to tell you his feelings or true intentions? Pay attention to the change in his tone of voice when he speaks, when he pauses, whether he repeats phrases or sentences to attract your attention, the time interval between sentences, and the way he looks at you or doesn’t look at you at all.

      Does he speak to you and others in a whining tone?

      Does he feel scared when he talks to certain family members?

      When he wants to get attention and shout Mommy , do you often hear his tune up?

      Does he repeat more when speaking to some people, but less frequently in front of others?

      When he speaks to dolls, toys, or imaginary playmates, does his tone of voice be bossy and domineering, different from his usual speech?

      Does he often talk about certain topics or ask certain questions out of fear?

These guidelines will help you better understand the literal meaning of your child’s words and the emotions behind them, and respond more appropriately. This is the key to being a good listener and a good communicator.

When you know more about when to listen and when you don’t need to concentrate, you will let your child know that changes in your attention to daily tasks do not mean that you don’t love him. From time to time, deliberately interrupt your work and express your love and interest to your children. He will know that when he really needs your attention, you will be willing and able to give it.

Step 4: Determine the situation that needs to be listened attentively immediately

In the final step, try to distinguish the signals your child sends that he needs you to listen to immediately. The sound signal may be a sharp increase in volume or a rare hesitation and repetition. The sound signal is generally well before the crying stage. Since these signals do not appear often, it takes a certain amount of time to distinguish them. When they appear, you should be alert to your child’s facial expressions, postures, and movements.

Since listening is an important part of the communication process and is directly related to emotions, improving your listening habits will directly affect the fluency of children’s speech. Remember: listening should be a worthwhile and happy experience—not a burden.

3. Suggestion 2: Be friends with your child and don’t give orders to him (or her)

What you say is closely related to how you listen. Sometimes, you seem to be constantly talking to your child: you must provide information, set rules, restrain him, and use your voice and language to manage his behavior. Even if you often talk to your child, although you are not intentional, you may find that most of the time, you are talking, rather than two people talking alternately, sharing thoughts and feelings.

Not surprisingly, some children are more sensitive to this than others. You can prevent negative reactions from your child by consciously reducing your speaking to your child and increasing your conversation with your child. In doing so, the conversation will become an experience of exchanging thoughts and feelings, and both you and your child will be very happy.

1. Talk about things that are important to your child

First of all, listen to or record your 5- minute conversation with your child every day for several days , and see if you are talking to your child for a few minutes. Then deliberately increase the time and topics you spend with your children.

You can talk to your child about things that have nothing to do with their speech and actions, such as what he does in preschool or nursery during the day, his favorite toys, the books you are reading together, and so on.

Let him know that you can and are willing to listen to him patiently, try to get him to provoke the topic, but if he has difficulty speaking, don’t force him to speak. You can evaluate what your child is saying from time to time. He will be very happy to get your attention and will find that speaking is a very interesting thing.

2. Be a good role model for your child in terms of language habits

We assume that you are trying to provide a good verbal role model for your child. You speak clearly and use appropriate words. We hope you use the language that suits his age. Do you often speak quickly and fluently? If this is the case, your child may try to imitate you. Since he does not currently have the ability to speak quickly, it is natural for him to stutter and hesitate.

If this is the case, you should try to slow down and pause more. If the sentences you use are long or complex or confusingly structured, your child may not understand you or how to respond. And this may cause him to be unable to speak smoothly when answering. Therefore, you should, at least sometimes, use simpler, shorter sentences.

Do you have the habit of interrupting your child’s speech? When you know what the child will say in the second half of the sentence, do you let him continue to finish? If you interrupt your child frequently, you will add unnecessary time pressure to your child. Give him time: You can learn to act and speak more patiently. Tell him: Mom and Dad have time to listen to him.

3. Make the conversation fun

When you listen to your child in the above-mentioned manner, the speech has become more and more interesting for the child. But you can do more. You can sing a song while holding him or shaking him, so that both of you will be happy. When you are cooking or folding clothes, you can talk to your child about what you are doing.

The more verbal joy you make at home, the faster your child will realize that speaking can be very joyful. This will help offset the negative effects of language that must be used to scold, condemn, or punish.

At some point, let the child know that parents also care about what he says. After all, children need to learn to give others a chance to speak and cannot always be self-centered. If your child starts chattering, he also needs to learn to let others talk. The key is to avoid too many unpleasant experiences.

4. Reading or telling a story to him Reading or telling a story
aloud also reflects the pleasant side of speaking. They are very important and deserve our special attention.

Try to develop the habit of reading stories to your child regularly, even if it is only a few minutes a day. When you read the same story that your child loves many times, ask your child to complete some of the sentences, or if he wants, let him tell you the story in his own language.

If you don’t have the ability to make up a story yourself, you can start with a picture that your child loves, preferably a picture with a story behind it. Tell him what happened when you were a kid or when he was younger. All children are interested in these.

Try to find a time every day when there is little or no interruption, and read pictures, read books, or tell stories to your child. You can tell your child a silly thing he did when he was younger while riding in the car, or tell him a story while he was in the bathtub or while you were cooking. If you find yourself competing with the TV for your child’s attention, you can turn off the TV regularly. Even if the TV is only turned off for ten minutes a day, using these ten minutes to read or tell a story to a child will have very different results.

5. Help her express emotions in words

Do you often tell your child that you love or like her? If you don’t be a role model, it will be difficult for children to learn to express these very important emotions.

Why do you usually laugh? If you often laugh at things that hurt others, you are teaching your children to do the same. She needs to know that there are many kinds of laughter in the world, so you should talk to him about what makes you laugh. Smile for things that are funny, not for things that hurt people.

Next time when she is angry, take time to listen to her. Talk about what makes her angry. There are many reasons for her anxiety: frustration, unsatisfied demands, emotional hurt, or just imitating your angry or sleepy appearance.

Talk to her about better ways to express feelings. Let her understand that she can get what she really wants without losing her temper, and teach her how to use words politely. When she finds a better way to express her feelings, the conflicts that cause her some verbal influx will be reduced.

6. Don’t order children to speak

Your act of forcing your child to speak will destroy his fluency of speech. You might let your child tell you what happened, or let him tell Aunt Martha something interesting. You may also naturally order him to say “please”, “thank you”. Sometimes, these commands can cause your child’s speech to be unsmooth, because you unknowingly put a lot of pressure on the child.

This extra stress can be avoided by allowing the child to advance at his own pace. You can demonstrate to your child by saying similar things instead of ordering him to say “please” and “thank you”. For example, you can say, “when someone gives us something, we say “thank you”, or say, “it’s a good habit to say, please”. As for telling interesting things to Aunt Martha, is it really important?

Fourth, suggestion three: pay attention to body language

Language is not the only way we communicate with others. The presence or absence of happiness is usually not expressed through words.

Most people equate communication with speaking, but the connotation of communication is much greater than speaking. Maybe you know this, but when your child is older, you may forget. Before your child starts to speak, he will make hurried and ambiguous sounds that are difficult to understand. However, he is communicating with you. If you can respond to this, both of you will undoubtedly be very satisfied.

When your child is older, he will continue to be vague and then use recognizable language to express the same emotions. The same goes for adults: real language is not actually a language. When we said ‘good morning’, we didn’t think of the meaning of the word, it was just a way for us to greet others.

If you listen carefully, you will find that your child often uses words to establish contact with the outside world: Mom, my eyes hurt! Daddy, did you see the injury on my leg? Your specific answers to these questions are not as important as your attention to your child. Does he ask the same question repeatedly? Does he always want your attention when you are particularly busy? Asking the same question or asking knowingly is usually a sign that he wants emotional attention. When you are more sensitive to the emotions hidden under these words, you can respond in a more appropriate and meaningful way.

1.      Look for ways to express feelings other than language

Look at her as much as possible and smile at her. If she asks why you laugh, you tell her: because you love her. When she walks by you, touch or pat her occasionally. The expression on your face is the same as your language, it can show that you are proud of him. Help her do something difficult happily, but don’t try to order her to say thankful words.

2.      Analyze how your child uses his own voice

Listen to the pitch, volume, and pitch of your child’s and your own voices when you talk to your child, and see what these appearances tell you about the emotions that are hidden under the words. One way is to turn on the recorder and let it record until you forget its existence, and then choose one of them to listen to.

What did you hear? Maybe you already know how loud you talk to your child when you are angry or under pressure. You may find that your voice is high-pitched, sometimes very high-pitched, and it sounds uncomfortable. You may also notice that when you try to control bored emotions and show patience, your pitch has unusual patterns of change—increasing and decreasing pitch changes. Sometimes, you may hear your own condescending tone.

Maybe your voice is not terrible, but when you talk to your child, is your voice always a pattern, and when you talk to other people, your voice is often different? Is the tone of your speech to the puppy similar to the tone of your speech to the child?

Try to make some adjustments to your own words to make them express more positive and constructive emotions.

3.      Set aside parent-child time

You must cherish the time when you don’t talk much with your children but you feel close to your children, such as walking with your children, baking cookies, cooking, installing things, and other activities that don’t require much talking. If these activities are carried out frequently, even if the time is not long, it will help enhance the child’s sense of security and reduce the child’s stuttering.

These quiet happy times often appear unintentionally, but you can create more happy times like this. All you have to do is build blocks, pick up toys or take a walk in the park with your children.

Not everything you do can achieve the parent-child goals you want, but by doing so, you can gradually establish a relationship that makes your child feel needed and loved by you without having to say much. The language of love that is not supported by actions is meaningless, and children will know this soon.

5. Recommendation 4: Make daily life easier

Raising children far is more than just talking to children. Children have various opportunities to become stronger and more secure, as well as various possibilities to become more insecure and weaker. We are not going to provide a manual on how to deal with all the problems that parents may encounter, but the process of dealing with some problems includes many possibilities to improve speech fluency.

1.      Make it easier for children to eat

If your child doesn’t like to eat a lot of food, and your child’s eating is a problem for your child and you, you may want to re-examine the actual situation.

*   Does his stuttering become heavier when he eats?

*   What’s the conflict?

*   Are you giving orders to him?

*   Do you often scold him?

*   Are you worried that he eats too little nutritious food?

*   Are you paying too much attention to the way he eats?

*   Have you confused eating and drinking with discipline?

*   Did you talk about adult issues, such as work or money, while your children were eating?

If you provide your child with good food without nagging him to eat, and the child does not eat snacks before eating, he will eventually become hungry and eat what he needs to eat. If your child does not have an appetite at the time and place of eating, you can make some changes to the time and place of eating in a short period of time. If you are cultivating good eating habits for your child, then teach your child like a game when he eats ice cream! At other times, you should control your urge to correct your child’s behavior. You should not talk about adult issues during meals, because children will be very sensitive to your own worries.

When eating becomes a struggle, the winner is always the child-because you can’t force him to eat. Never try to force your child to eat, because your behavior will make everyone unhappy. What you can control is where and when you eat, which is enough.

2.      Make the bedtime activity pattern

You can’t put your child to sleep. If you try to do this, you may find that the child is in control of his own sleep process. Many children use some tricks to delay bedtime, such as asking you to pour him a glass of water, begging you to read one more page, and asking you to check under the bed to see if there is any scary devil, even though you have seen it many times. NS. We believe that you are familiar with many techniques for delaying bedtime for children.

The key to the fight to reduce bedtime is to be consistent. Simplify the preparation before going to bed as much as possible. Evening is often a good time to read to your child, but you should do it earlier instead of reading to your child before going to bed. Before the child goes to bed, hold him in his arms to calm him down. You should make regulations on how much water your child drinks before going to bed, listen to a few pages of books, or how many times your child enters his room after lying down, and strictly enforce them. Keep your behavior as consistent as possible.

3.      Improve toilet training

Urinary training is a difficult process. Because you can’t let your children into the bathroom or control all emergencies, so don’t try to do this. If you are not sure about when to start your bowel training, then you should consult your doctor. Some children’s bowel training can be effective in a short time, while others take longer.

It is important that when a child has an emergency or wetting the bed, he should not feel that he is a failure. You should help him understand the truth, that even though he gets something dirty, his behavior is something you can tolerate, and learning how to use the bathroom is just part of the growth. In the long run, by reducing your child’s guilt, you will make it easier for you and your child.

4.      Reduce stress

Check the daily activities in your home.

      Are there too many daily activities at home? Does the child’s activities often change due to the activities of other family members?

      If the child is in preschool, what is her schedule of activities there?

      In order for the children to have enough time for rest and activities, what do you do at home?

      Does the child have fixed time alone at school and at home? Or, has she been alone for so long that she gets extremely excited when someone pays attention to her?

Is       she with adults most of the time?

      How much time does she spend on rest and activities?

Paying attention to these issues will help you create a stimulating and non-demanding environment for your child’s growth. Remember: Your attitude or behavior that makes your child feel guilty, ashamed, frustrated, incapable, nervous, or disgusted will put your child under pressure, and pressure often makes it difficult for your child to speak.

5.      Focus on overall development

Look at the child’s overall development, such as physical skills and coordination, social skills, emotional and intellectual development, etc. You may find that your child is particularly interested in a certain area of ​​skills, and this area of ​​skills develops quickly. If this is the case, the child’s energy and attention are not focused on speech skills. In order to concentrate on the things he is interested in, the child temporarily put aside the development of speech skills.

The child seems to be speaking worse now than it was a few months ago, or his development may have entered a stable period after rising. If so, you don’t need to worry. Because development is not a continuous and steady process, it is usually jet-driven. If the stabilization period lasts too long, of course you should look for the cause. You may wish to seek professional help.

6.      Consider other influencing factors

We said that painful, nightmarish experiences generally do not lead to stuttering, but family tragedies can naturally upset children. Despite your efforts to protect your children, incidents such as illness, emotional conflict, moving or accidents will still occur. They may cause more hesitation and repetition when the child speaks.

If this is the case, you should accept your child’s poor speech as a normal phenomenon. Reacting to the child’s stuttering will only increase his stress. If family conflicts continue, the child may stutter even more. In order to reduce the negative impact, you should pay more attention to your family relationship with your children. If you spend more time and energy to love your child, your child’s speech is likely to return to the original fluency.

7.      Don’t interrupt your child frequently

When someone is often hesitant to speak, you can easily interrupt him. But if your child shows signs of eating out, you should avoid interrupting him. You should not try to eliminate such interruptions completely, but you should try to reduce them. When the child says something particularly important to him, you should be alert and never interrupt him.

Look for other reasons that cause your child to speak less fluently than usual. Does he have more questions when he is talking while doing other things? If so, encourage him to stop other activities when he wants to talk. If he is injured while playing or is over-excited for some reason, then you should not ask him to explain until he calms down. With some effort, you may find that there are many occasions in a day. When you slightly change the way you do things, your child’s speech becomes more fluent.

Sixth, suggestion five: manage children’s behavior

When you ask your child’s words and deeds to meet the standard of an idealized image, the child will have self-doubt and a sense of failure. Are your expectations of your children too high? If this is the case, the child will often have speech difficulties and form a conditioned reflex of stuttering to the above-mentioned feelings.

1.      Appropriate expectations of children’s behavior

We sometimes ask our children to say or do something because it conforms to social norms. If you expect your child to always show his best, then you expect too much of him.

Be tolerant of children. It takes time to learn to say the right words and do the right things. He will learn from you as a role model. If you praise him when he is doing well, he will want to learn from you even more. Don’t scold him or ask him to repeat his actions or words many times. After all, he is still a child. If you feel embarrassed because of some misbehavior of your child, your expectations of your child are too high.

2.      Deny certain behaviors of the child, but don’t deny the child himself

When dealing with children’s inappropriate behaviors, other problems should be avoided. It is important for children to learn to manage their feelings and behaviors in a positive way.

If you make your child feel guilty and ashamed when her behavior is bad, then you are telling your child that he is a bad child. Instead, what you should tell your child is that some of her behavior is wrong. You can change the way you correct your child. For example, don’t say ‘you are too naughty with your little sister’, say ‘it’s naughty to pull your sister’s hair’. This actually pointed out that her behavior caused a problem, rather than telling her that she herself was a problem.

How do you deal with children’s anger? Obviously, some control is necessary. She needs to learn how to manage her emotions effectively. If you think of anger as an emotion that needs to be suppressed, then the language that often appears when anger is not smooth will be exaggerated in the child’s mind. Any way you use to control her should avoid making the child feel, because she has this kind of emotion and she is a bad child. Don’t make the child feel ashamed in any way. You can calmly comment on her behavior afterwards and explain to your child that there are many ways to deal with her emotions. This will help tell the child that having an emotion is different from what you do with that emotion.

Pay attention to your own language when you are angry with your child. No matter how you dealt with the immediate crisis, what did you do afterwards?

The child needs your explanation. She needs to know what you want to teach her when you are angry. You should help her understand that you have the need to release your emotions. Anyway, she needs an explanation. Don’t expect your child to change her behavior immediately-she needs time and experience-but you should encourage this change.

3.      Train children to observe discipline

Here are some general principles that will affect how your child feels about himself and others. Anything that makes a child feel that he is a failure may cause the child to hesitate when speaking. At the same time, you need to teach him to do things in an appropriate way, in a way that makes you and other family members more comfortable.

The way you punish or reward your child with words is also important. The language of reprimand can be as painful as a spanking. Although rebuke can tame a child, it is costly.

How does he react when you yell at your child or punish him in other ways? Did he froze or looked terrified? Or are you so angry that you completely ignore his reaction? In either case, you use your emotions as a weapon to force your child to obey. This approach may be effective for the time being, but it comes at the cost of the child’s loss of security. Another emotional weapon used by some parents is: If you love me and want me to love you, you must always do what I want you to do. Remember, focus on your child’s behavior. Let him know: his behavior is unacceptable; nevertheless, you know that he can change his behavior; and no matter what the result is, you love him.

Check how you train your child, including the method of reward and punishment. To what extent do rewards and punishments represent a goal and your attitude toward loving children? Try to avoid methods that are too emotional, too long, or too cold and serious. Use your own good judgment. You neither want your child’s training to be casual and unplanned, nor do you want it to be too rigid.

4.      Control excitement

Special holidays, upcoming holidays, or the beginning of preschool are all exciting moments for children, but they may make them too excited. Parents often tell me that their children speak fluently throughout the summer, but on the eve of school, their children have speaking problems.

If you notice that the fluency of the child’s speech decreases at these times, then you can try to reduce the intensity of the event. Sometimes, the source of the problem is that the period of high excitement lasts too long. Christmas can cause high levels of excitement and irritability. There was a family that dealt with this problem like this: They spent most of the day opening gifts. When each child opens a gift, she will have time to play with toys, try on new clothes, or listen to her parents reading a new book to her. In this way, the child’s excitement is controlled at a more pleasant level. Children will not be upset by getting too many things in a short time. The same method can be adopted when the child celebrates his birthday.

When you are worried about your child, you may start to treat him indifferently, lose patience more easily, or do things different from normal interaction with your child. Your child is very sensitive to your own anxiety and worries, so the best way to help your child is to make sure you take care of yourself first.

If you are worried about your child’s stuttering, getting information about the stuttering will make you feel better. Reading this book is one way to get information. Following the recommendations in the book will help reduce your worries, because you are doing something for your child, not just thinking about and worrying about your child’s problems.

5.      Supervise his siblings

If your child has brothers or sisters, you must be well aware of their role in helping or hindering the development of this child. They motivated her to speak–but they didn’t give her a chance to speak. Like a nestling in a bird’s nest, your children are fighting for your attention in their own way. The child who speaks the fastest and has the loudest voice often wins your attention.

In order for children who are prone to stuttering to have an equal opportunity to speak, you often need to control the speech of other family members. If a child with a stuttering tendency is more introverted and more hesitant than other children, then she needs your help even more. You can say to her brother or sister, “I want to know what your sister thinks? Then look at her so that she knows it’s her turn to speak now. If a brother or sister interrupts her, you should stop them, tell them it is not their turn to speak, and wait until their sister speaks.

However, this does not mean that you always let a child who is prone to stuttering speak, nor does it mean that you should make a rigid rule that other children cannot interrupt her. Be wise. All children need to learn to speak in an orderly manner. If you overprotect your child because of her stuttering, then she will start to do more things that can receive special treatment. You should be flexible when deciding when to protect her right to speak and when to let other children speak.

Like other children, when she has some kind of crisis, she deserves more attention. However, the crisis must be real, not false. When you are unsure whether the crisis is true or false, pay attention to your child.

Although your children communicate in different ways, they should all have a chance to be heard. Different communication styles are not a bad thing, they give your child a unique personality.

This attitude towards distinction should extend beyond the family. Avoid using differences in personal characteristics to demean someone or insult his personality. If your child notices that you don’t like people who look different or disabled, you are actually telling your child that being different is not good. In this way, he will think that his own differences, such as difficulty in speaking, are also bad.

Seventh, suggestion six: use common sense

We have provided some general principles and specific suggestions on how to get along with children constructively. We hope you are wise and considerate, and your behavior is consistent. However, we do not want to impose rigid models on you.

Someone once suggested that a mother establish routines to give her son a sense of security. So she set up a full schedule from seven in the morning to eight in the evening, doing exactly the same thing every half an hour every day. Needless to say, this routine raises other problems. A reasonable schedule and a more relaxed mother will greatly improve the fluency of the child’s speech.

Avoid going to extremes. Pay attention to the effects of what you do, and make adjustments to your behavior and expectations as needed at any time.

Section 5 When stuttering is aggravated

For some reason, your child is not as fluent as you think, which makes you very worried. Through the suggestions we provided above, you already know if your child is stuttering. However, you and the speech pathologist may both know clearly that your child speaks far less fluently than his peers. In this case, you need to pay special attention to other things. The following suggestions suggest some ways to improve speech fluency and prevent stuttering from becoming heavier. If you need advice on your child’s specific situation, you can seek help from a speech pathologist.

1. Reduce time pressure

Time pressure can have a negative impact on anyone’s speech, especially for children. Although time pressure appears in various forms, there are two types of time pressure you should understand: one is time pressure in communication, and the other is time pressure in lifestyle.

2. Time pressure in communication

A typical example of time pressure in communication is: when a child is not able to speak smoothly, the listener uses words or body language to speak to the child. “Speak slowly, don’t panic, and relax. Or the listener responds in the opposite way: “hurry up and speak out”; “I don’t have so much time… Some listeners asked the children to speak slowly, and then said to the children: “Don’t dare, I have limited time!

Regardless of the way the adult responds, the child may get the message that I’d better speak at the slow (or fast) speed they request. Experience has shown that when children receive such instructions, it is difficult for them to maintain general fluency.

Instead of telling your child to slow down or increase the rate of speaking, you can show her the appropriate rate of speaking. For this, you need to check and perhaps change your speech behavior, at least when you talk to your child.

If you think she “speaks too fast”, then listen to the speed of your speech with your child. We have seen some parents tell their children to speak slowly, but their own speaking speed is surprisingly fast. We recommend that you listen to the slower speaking rate, such as Vlad Rutgers in “Mr. Rutgers’ Neighbors.” It will provide some information for you to start slowing down your speech.

Spend five minutes a day talking to your child at this slower rate. Extend the pause time between your words, phrases, and sentences. This will help you slow down. Remember, your way of speaking has a greater impact on your child than your verbal instructions.

Helping the child finish a sentence, or interjecting in the middle of the child’s speech, or interjecting when the child has not finished a sentence, will increase time pressure. You should wait for the child to finish speaking, delay a second or two before speaking.

When you start ( 1 ) speak at a slower rate when the child is present ( 2 ) ask him to finish speaking and answer after a second or two, you are showing the child instead of telling him how to speak Helps to form a fluent speech way to speak. Remember, making these changes to your speech, even if there are only five minutes a day, is not an easy task! You will most likely find that delaying your feedback, not helping your child finish the sentence, and not interrupting the child’s words are more effective than slowing down your speech.

Any change in the way of speaking slowly and not hurriedly is good for your child. We know this is not easy, but you need to do your best.

3. Time pressure on lifestyle

A typical example of lifestyle time pressure is that parents imperiously set a strict and rigid schedule for their children’s activities for the day (how to get up, eat breakfast, eat lunch, eat dinner, take out the garbage, sleep, etc.). Many times, parents do this to establish a certain order for a busy family to prevent chaos and noisy situations. For whatever reason, when parents ask their children to live according to the clock on the wall, they often find themselves a loser. In addition, it takes a lot of energy to implement timetables and rules.

Another example of time pressure on lifestyle is that after a family member finishes one activity, they do the next activity without rest or the rest period is very short. For example, in the early morning you did not leave enough time for your child to go to preschool or nursery school, so that he had to go out in a hurry. This will put time pressure on the child.

We encourage parents to check their own rushed lifestyle, that everything must be done on time, and then look for ways to adjust this lifestyle. Remember: You have spent your entire life establishing habits such as keeping everything happening on time, doing everything yourself to improve efficiency and not leaving enough time for activities, so you are always in a hurry. You don’t expect to change these habits overnight. However, when you find that a less rushed and strict lifestyle brings good results to your children and yourself, we believe you will do everything in this way.

Four, acceptance is not smooth

Because you are worried that your child will develop into a life-long stutterer, you may find it difficult to accept her hesitant way of speaking. Even if you respond to your child without feelings, your hidden feelings and attitudes will show up and have an impact on your child. In order to prevent this from happening, you need to understand all kinds of speech problems, most of which are common in daily life.

Five, learn language differences

Listen to the words of other children and adults from time to time, especially their conversations with people other than you. Count the number of times they are not smooth (in any form of stagnation, such as repetition, retreat, pause, or insertion of irrelevant noise). Know the turbulence in normal speech. Also, pay attention to how many different kinds of stutters there are. Pauses are often for emphasis, grammatically clearer, or think about it, it is a completely normal pause. If you listen to your own speech pauses, you will find that you become very sensitive to them. As a part of everyone’s speech, it’s not smooth, and the high frequency it appears will leave a deep impression on you.

Your child is likely to have more such pauses than you. You should pay attention to their differences and frequency. In some situations, your child may even speak completely fluently. This will alleviate your worry about your child, because it shows that although your child’s speech cannot and will not always be so fluent (and should not be), he really knows how to speak, and after continuous training, he can Improve your speech skills. In this way, you will use a different way of thinking to look at the lack of fluency in speech.

Sixth, increase your tolerance for choppy

The choppiness that makes one listener nervous may not be noticed by the other listener. If you find that your child’s disfluency continues to disturb you, then you should try to increase your tolerance for disfluency.

Asking yourself the following questions should increase your tolerance.

      Why are you upset or upset when your child says that something takes longer than you think she should take?

      Are your expectations too high for your child’s fluency?

      Why do you expect your child to speak more fluently? Is it because other children of the same age speak more fluently, or is it because other children of your own speak more fluently?

      Does it matter that she develops in the same way as them?

      Do you spend the necessary time listening to what she has to say?

7. The best way to improve your relationship with your child is to wait patiently

      Are you still worried that your child will talk worse and worse?

      Do you feel that her indecisive speech habits are a big disadvantage of her?

      Are you worried that something bad will happen to your child after school?

All these will only increase the difficulties of the child.

8. Show your child that you can accept his lack of fluency

Another important way you can help your child is to accept his influx. What does it mean? This means that you have to use your actions and words to show your child that his lack of fluency has not changed your love for him. How do you show that you accept other people’s behavior? You might say to yourself, “I noticed that he is doing this, but it doesn’t matter, my feelings for him have not changed. In most cases, I didn’t even notice. Children’s various abilities develop at different speeds, but unless the difference in speed becomes extremely obvious, you will not react. Even so, you will not do anything if the problem does not last long.

A mother gradually accepted the child’s stuttering by reviewing how the child learned to use the soup spoon. The mother said that when her child first started using the soup spoon, he was extremely clumsy and often got food out of the rice bowl. When the mother told us this, the child had been using the spoon for several months, but his movements were still not perfect. The mother recalled, “I tried not to be disturbed by the child’s clumsiness at the time, and treated it as a normal phenomenon. Therefore, when the child succeeded, I felt happy. As time goes by, children get less and less food outside, although sometimes, meals are still a small disaster. Slowly, the child became quite proficient with spoons, and the mother was able to accept the occasional difficulties the child encountered without being angry. The mother realized that she should treat the development of her child’s speech ability in the same way.

We know that if your child stutters badly, it may be difficult for you to follow these guidelines. One thing that may help you is to remember that your child is doing his best, so you should do the same. When you respond emotionally, you make your child struggle harder to stop, avoid, or hide stuttering, and this only makes the situation worse. Don’t make the child’s already complicated problem more complicated.

9. Describe the behavior in detail instead of nicknamed it

We also noticed that most people cannot distinguish between normal stutters and stuttering (or abnormal stutters). People often say, “I myself sometimes stutter” or “popular people eat”, what they say is actually normal and not smooth.

Perhaps you or other members of the family have referred to your child’s speech habits as stuttering, or the child as a stutterer. In this case, due to the reasons mentioned above, you should not suddenly try to avoid using words such as “stuttering” and “stuttering”. Use descriptive words instead of “titles”. Tell the child that he is repeating certain words, sounds, or syllables, or that he is hesitating, the speech has pauses, pauses, or extra sounds are inserted into it. Of course, if you add bad tone sandhis or facial expressions, any word or phrase can contain negative connotations. We have been using the word “stuttering” in this book, hoping that it is a neutral word, but if used improperly, it may become the same negative word as the nickname “stuttering”.

If your child often fights fiercely with the lack of fluency, and shows anxiety and fear, then besides accepting his speech habits, you need to do more. When talking to your child about stuttering, you should continue to use as many descriptive words as possible. If you observe a child tightening his muscles, blinking quickly, unwilling to speak, making a mouth shape but making no sound when speaking, or other similar behaviors, you can tell him that he is working too hard. At the same time, if everyone else thinks your child is stuttering, then you should not try to hide the title of stuttering. Under these conditions, absolutely avoiding the word “stuttering” will only make the child more anxious, not easier. Vocabulary such as “stuttering” is not a problem, but the problem is the method of using these words.

There is a word that should be avoided, and that is “stutterers”. The difference between stuttering and stuttering is subtle, but it is crucial. The latter classifies children into a different group of people, while the former simply says that the child is doing something (the child does many other things besides stuttering).

10. Reduce your anxiety

We know that you feel uncomfortable listening to your child stuttering, and naturally worry about your child. A mother took her child to a speech disease clinic and said that when the child was struggling to speak, she felt physically and mentally exhausted and frustrated. Although it seems difficult, there are things you can do to ease your anxiety.

Remember: most children who stutter will not stutter when they grow up. Giving children understanding, help and support at the initial stage of the problem will greatly increase the possibility of normal speech fluency. Your ability to look at stuttering objectively and understand what your child is doing (we all have the ability to adjust or change the way we do things) helps you reduce your anxiety. You can start by determining the severity and consistency of your child’s stuttering. Learn to calmly observe the child’s stuttering. Don’t become nervous and panic when your child stutters suddenly. Focus on what is happening now, not what might happen in the next few years. Determine the fluency of the child’s speech. If you observe the child’s speech for a period of time, you will find that most of the child’s speech is extremely normal-although these words are not completely fluent, but in terms of the child’s age, it is definitely acceptable . There is enough evidence to prove that your child does know how to speak.

When the factors that exacerbate or worsen the child’s intermittent stuttering decrease, the child will speak more freely because there is not too much interruption. During this period, if you are not overly anxious, you and your child will find the best way to solve the problem of speech fluency.

11. Respond appropriately to stuttering

How do you respond appropriately to stuttering? Most of the time, you don’t need to react at all. In other words, your response should be neutral to the smooth part of your child’s speech.

Stuttering can be so annoying and distracting for your child that you should react to it. In this case, you should show your child that you know what he has done, and you should not show even a little surprise, criticism or regret.

You should also not advise your child to do something about stuttering. You can say, “that word is a little difficult to pronounce”, “you say that word is a bit difficult, or “some words are difficult to say, right? . These words should be said in a way of stating facts. Or, you try to smile at your child and say to him: Sometimes it’s not easy to make a sound.

Sometimes, the coordination of the child’s voice and time is ridiculous. At this time, you can laugh with him and continue your conversation. You can even show a little sympathy for your child. The pitch of your voice and the timing of these responses are crucial. In speech disease clinics, we often observe parents who have learned how to deal with this problem. A mother turned her fear of stuttering into her reverence for her son, because she discovered that although her son had a stuttering problem, she still tried her best to communicate with others. This attitude of the mother is reflected in her voice.

We know that when your child is struggling, you are worried or regretful, but you should try not to increase your child’s anxiety. Before you can react to stuttering as we outlined earlier, you may first need to manage your emotions. We do not want you to suppress all your feelings of sympathy with your child, but hope that these feelings can be transformed into constructive care, not just treat your child as a “stutterer”. Stuttering is only a small part of a child. It is like bedwetting or nose picking and needs to be treated wisely.

12. Talk publicly about stuttering

Some speech pathologists work with parents of children who stutter, but never mention stuttering to their children. However, when you are going to take your child to a speech pathologist, your child may need to know that because he often has obstruction when speaking, his father (or mother) would like to find an expert to help. Own. Children may ask questions such as: Why am I speaking badly? Why do I froze where? Or What is wrong with me? When the child has a particularly painful expression on his face, you need to give him a positive response. You may find that your child has the idea that stuttering should be hidden. At this time, it is good for the child to talk about stuttering openly.

“Why am I stuttering?” is the hardest question to answer. To this question, you can answer with a short explanation:

All of us have moments of speech confusion or confusion. Some people have this situation more often than others. Because children are learning to speak, they are more likely to hesitate when speaking. They are also more likely to fall when walking and running. When they have difficulty speaking, they sometimes spend too much effort to overcome this difficulty, and the result is worse.

By making your child pay attention to stuttering in your own speech, you can help him realize that all of us have trouble speaking. You should give a ‘no’ answer to any question that your child has a problem with a certain aspect of himself. Then, you need to describe in detail what the child is doing when he stutters. For example, you can say: “You sounded that sound for a little bit too long” or “It’s a bit awkward there.” You can use these opportunities to comfort your child and tell him that if he feels he can’t speak in other ways, it’s okay to be speechless. It probably means to use descriptive language as much as possible, explain the stuttering simply, and avoid mystification and emotionality.

13. Sometimes direct suggestions are given

After asking why, your child may ask, how can I not stutter? The best answer is Don’t be so strenuous or Try to relax . A parent clenched his fist and then gradually loosened it, making a sound while letting go, thus showing the child the benefits of relaxation. You can send the same word to your child in a tense and relaxed way. If the child needs to repeat words or sounds, he should try to do it in a relaxed way; it is the struggle that makes the situation worse. If the child says he cannot speak in other ways, then give him some time. More importantly, don’t get bored when your child refuses or cannot accept your suggestions.

Don’t tell your child how to not stutter. Suggestions such as “take a deep breath”, “think about what you are going to say before you say it,” and “speak slowly” will make your child’s problem worse. why? First of all, these suggestions mean that if the child does something right, he will not stutter; second, because the child cannot let these suggestions work, they will feel guilty; finally, these suggestions add additional actions to the child’s speech. These additional actions will distract the child and the person who listens to it, and further hinder the fluidity of speech.

14. Reduce the fear and frustration of speech

One of the best ways is to encourage your child to talk about his fears, anxiety, and frustration. This means that no matter how irrational your child’s feelings seem to you, you must be prepared to accept her feelings without criticizing or disagreeing. These feelings are not a manifestation of the child’s weakness or dysfunction, but merely proof that the child is a person. A parent talked about his own past and present fears. He conveyed the message to his daughter that everyone has a sense of fear (it is not a big deal to have a sense of fear), and we can all learn how to reduce the sense of fear.

Many of your child’s fears may not be directly related to speaking, but they will make the child more hesitant and withdrawn, and have an overall impact on the child. Expose your child’s fear and let the child feel exactly that you can accept her and her fear. Doing so can greatly reduce the impact of fear on your child.

15. Encourage self-reliance

Avoid increasing the child’s fear due to overprotection. Don’t do everything for your child, and don’t arrange your child’s life so that he doesn’t have to say a word. If your child wants to use the phone, encourage him. Overprotection will eventually increase the child’s fear of talking and stuttering.

16. Gradually eliminate fear

There are other ways to deal with children’s fears. Many parents let their children sleep with a dim night light to counteract their children’s fear of darkness. Try to get the child closer to the things that scare her gradually, and pause for a while when the child shows fear. Once the child is ready, continue to let her approach the things that scare her. Remember: don’t force your child, be patient.

There is a child who runs away as soon as a visitor comes from the house. In order to help him, his mother waited for the guests to sit down and started talking, and then called the child to her side and fetched something from her; the first time it was a piece of cake that his mother was distributing. Later, the child was able to sit quietly on his mother’s lap when a guest came, and could say “goodbye” when leaving. The obstacles were gradually overcome.

17. Teach your children how to face setbacks

If your child sometimes blocks and stutters very badly, he is likely to accumulate a lot of frustration. Many parents described various ways to effectively cope with this situation. A mother encouraged her son to hit the inflatable Clown Bob with the greatest effort until he felt better. A father chatted with his son privately and asked the child to say what he wanted to say. The father did not show any disapproval, but only comforted the child by saying that he understood his son’s feelings. Outdoor activities, like any other activities that use non-verbal expressions, can also help relieve tension.

Concluding remarks

To ensure that your child has normal speech fluency, we have outlined many things for you. When you take our advice, try to go a little further. You can find ways to give more to your child by staying with your child longer, playing and talking with your child, and showing interest in things your child is interested in.

The reason you do these things is not because your child is stuttering, but because of mutual pleasure with your child. Don’t seek or expect your child’s gratitude, because you are not helping your child (so it deserves special thanks from your child), you are just doing what a more enthusiastic and caring parent should do.

You may want to ask a speech-language pathologist to teach you methods specifically for your particular situation. If you can create your own methods, they are likely to be more effective than ours. You just need to remember the general principles we talked about earlier for building a constructive and positive relationship with your child.